Hello hello to everyone out there on this Sunday evening!
I’ve got mixed emotions being able to finally post a training update after being M.I.A on these for several weeks now. Seeing as I missed a TGIF post a few days ago, this is the perfect opportunity to share something I learned through today’s training.
Let me start off by saying this may not be what you expect. Typically, whenever I post training updates, I tend to be positive regardless of the circumstances. “Despite dealing with such and such, I’m proud of the effort I gave today.” Y’all know the drill with me 😂. Today was different. For the first time in a while, I felt incredibly discouraged. I did something I hadn’t done in a while, which was stopping my run short of my distance goal. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but it was to me. I may slow my pace down whenever I feel the need to, but I NEVER stop running until I cross the finish. It doesn’t matter how slow I go, I never stop to walk. I always see myself through till the end. It’s the kind of mentality I have that’s led me to complete so many runs. If I feel the need to stop and call it quits, I feel like a failure and that’s exactly how I felt today.
Looking at my times for what I did run, they were great. I don’t want to take anything away from that. I felt fantastic for those miles. For once, my upper body felt just as strong as my lower body. Normally, if I have any issues with pain, it’s present around my ribs or shoulders. Perhaps, it’s my breathing and overall heart rate that’s got me wanting to pull teeth during a run. However, I generally don’t have to worry about my lower body. It’s as sound as a v8 engine firing on all cylinders. This time, this wasn’t the case. My goal for today was to run 8 miles. I had to stop short of that goal because of my left quad. I couldn’t handle the pain I felt after passing the 4-mile mark. What I thought was healing well turns out to still be hurting me. I’m not going to lie; I feel frustrated, upset, disappointed, and lost. I’ve been dealing with this injury for several weeks now. Every time I feel like I’m making progress, every time I feel ready to go back out and resume physical activity, I end up feeling like I’m back to square one. I’m hurt, not only physically but mentally too. Why is it that I can’t shake this off? Why won’t my body heal? These are the questions that keep circling around my head. Fortunately, I finally get to see the specialists at Airrosti who’ll (hopefully) help me gain my confidence back.
As I went home, following the completion of this run, I changed clothes and got ready to attend a leadership seminar for work. I attend these frequently for my own personal development and tend to learn something very important from each one; something that resonates well with whatever I’m dealing with at the time. I mentioned to you earlier about how I felt like a failure. No one wants to fail at anything. No one enjoys the feeling of being a failure. I certainly don’t. I’m always afraid of failure, I tend to do whatever it takes to avoid it. But, as I listened to these speakers present their case for what makes a great leader, I listened to one talk about failure. He echoed the same thoughts I had about the topic. No one enjoys the hurt failure causes. However, if he had the choice to go back and undo every decision he’d made that ultimately failed in the end, he wouldn’t change a thing. That’s because he learned something from this. Failure builds character. When you don’t reach your goal or desired outcome, you have an incredible opportunity to figure out what led to the results. You have the chance, to see for yourself, the amazing potential you have to achieve something that felt impossible after falling short the first time. In these moments, you define who you are. I’ve said it in the past, it’s not about the events that happen but about how you respond to them. Failure builds your character.
Someone listened to me today (whether it was God, a genie, the mailman, a ghost). Whoever it was felt my pain and my frustration and knew I needed to hear what I heard during the seminar today. I may feel weak, discouraged, and lost but I won’t be defeated. I’m a fighter. I see this as a difficult challenge but not one that I’ll shy away from. I may need way more time to recover than I thought I needed, but that’s okay. The journey I’m on isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. There’s so much time for me to prepare for that special day and I need not rush and make things worse for myself. I’m taking this as a sign that I need to look deep within myself and see who I am and how I’ll improve based off of my experience today. This is where I build my character.
I strongly felt the need to share the honest truth with how things are going because I wanted to prove a point. In this modern era, where social media wants us to portray this fake reality of being positive 24/7, we often hide how we feel behind the scenes. No lie, I’ve been guilty of it. It’s because we’re all afraid to be seen as failures amongst our peers. I’m here to tell you it’s okay to feel disappointed. It’s okay to feel like you let yourself down. It’s okay to fail. We’re all human and I want to show you that. I’d rather be authentic and real over feeding into something that just isn’t true. Was today a great day? No. But I know there are better days to come. I just need to keep my head up, stay focused, and work to get better. I’m down, but I’m not out.
I appreciate your time tonight and I hope something from my message today made an impact on you (whether small or big). I’ll be back again soon to post more updates on my recovery. As always, feel free to leave a comment. I love interacting with new people! Until then, enjoy your upcoming week and stay safe out there!